Life & Business Update

 

To all of you my dear followers……. here’s the most raw, transparent and truthful post I have ever written on my blog…. I know I might be criticized and/or judged but I feel the need to share an update. I never want to come across or pretend that my life is perfect because it’s far from it. I am just an ordinary mom keeping it very real.

In case you have not heard, I am divorced. We filed back in January 2014 (2 years ago) but the divorce took almost a year and it was final on November 2014. Divorce has been the most painful experience of my life. It was ugly, messy, hurtful and so emotionally draining. We have 50/50 custody and parenting time with our precious daughters who are now 10 and almost 9 years old. They are doing very well considering the circumstances.

christmas 2015

{pic taken december 2015}

Why did you get divorced everyone asks? Because I had an unsupportive husband when it came to my business and desire to pursue my dreams and goals. The issues with my ex-husband started back in 2010 when A to Zebra Celebrations took off and my etsy shop was booming. More opportunities kept happening, invitations to appear on TV, collaborations, features all over the internet, book deal, etc..etc.. and the busier I got, the more problems I had at home. I failed at balancing my time and prioritizing. I suck at time management. I am horrible at saying “NO” and my ex and I could not get on the same page or work well as a team. The marriage was unhealthy and counseling did not help us. He became extremely controlling and that made it so hard for me. The tighter the rope, the worse it was. I wanted to run and be free to make my own decisions.

The issues snowballed until I could not do it any more. I felt he was holding me back from growing my business and doing something I truly love. I felt it was so unfair that I was put in a situation to choose my business over my family. I kept asking myself “why can’t I have it all?”, “why can’t I have a husband who is my cheerleader and is proud of me?”, “why can’t I have his love and support?”….etc….etc. I was broken truly broken. I didn’t have the unconditional love I desired. I had to be a “submissive wife” and as he put it one day: “be happy with the money I make”. You know? it was not about the money. It was about finding a new identity, feeling loved, valuable and admired (perhaps things I wasn’t feeling when being a housewife and a stay at home mom). Was I a perfect wife? No! absolutely not! I made mistakes, I disrespected my husband, I was hurtful and said things I didn’t mean but the bottom line was- I couldn’t be myself in that marriage, I felt trapped, I couldn’t pursue the things I wanted to do, I couldn’t move forward with my dreams and goals and that was extremely hard. I always felt so much guilt and that’s no way to live. I truly believe God gave me a gift and I wanted to do something with it. I love being creative and throwing parties!

passionquote

This is a perfect quote and I love it. I believe it’s my calling to be creative and share my ideas with you all. I continue to have big dreams and hope to some day have a non-profit organization to host parties for less fortunate kids or help single moms, etc..etc.. my brain spins with ideas! I never want my business to be just about me and my daughters. I want to make a difference and pay it forward somehow.

party store

Back in September 2015 I opened a retail shop to sell my party decorations, supplies and have a place to host girly parties, baby showers and bridal showers. I was beyond excited to take on this challenge and work hard to make it a big success! Little did I know what was coming……

My precious daughters were acting up like never before, crying all the time, not wanting to be in the store when they were with me. They kept telling their daddy that they did not want to live with me anymore because I was always working and they didn’t have any fun with me. They cried at my store, they whined constantly and they were so unhappy. I was stressed out to the max and my ex told me he would take the girls full time so I can focus on my business. I was not at peace with that and I did not want to risk loosing my daughters because I wanted to have a party shop. After a couple of months in business, I decided to close it. Did it fail? I don’t believe I gave the store a chance to consider this a failure. However, I knew my girls were number one priority and timing wasn’t right for me to have a party shop. They have been troopers and gone through so much over the past few years. I needed to be more available for them physically, emotionally and mentally. If you have a retail business you know the huge commitment and stress that comes with that. It’s not easy, especially if you have no family in town to help. I am all alone trying to do it all and survive.

GOD IS WITH ME

And I may be alone physically, but God is with me. He has great plans for the girls and I. He forgives, He loves us unconditionally and He is the God who makes ALL things new. I can see so much more clear now. It has taken a long time, but I am there. I am happy. I am at peace. I am excited for the future and can’t wait to share what God has been unfolding in my life. One thing I know for certain, I will not give up on my business. A to Zebra Celebrations has been through some hard times as well but we are on the mend. I want to focus on blogging consistently, share more of my personal life with you and bring you so many more party ideas. My etsy shop will continue as well because I love crafting and creating new party things for your parties and last but not least, I still have a book to write. My publisher has been so gracious and patient with me. I’ve had to put this on hold while getting myself healthy again.

I will wrap up with this other quote from Jessica Turner. I love quotes because I find so much encouragement when I read them. I believe this is my time for a new beginning. There’s so much more I want to share, but I will write another post about the man God has brought back into my life. I think you will love the story….stay tuned…..

What do you think of my messy life these past few years? 😉

XOXO

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  • Wow this is so amazing to read..I stumbed on your blog from a link up …this post so speaks to where I am at in life….so hard decisions to make..never easy! Your lil girls are so cute and I loved reading all of this post…so heartfelt and encouraging in a lot of ways!

    I wish you all the best on your journey….I am working to pursue my dream as well!

    xo
    Blessings
    VAlerie
    Fashion and Travel

  • I’m glad you’re doing well, Nancy. You and the girls have been on my mind. Thoughts and prayers are with you!

  • Congrats Nancy! Wish you love, happiness and many blessings. So happy to hear that all is good and clear with Pollack. God is definitely looking out for you. Miss you and the girls. Hope to see you all soon. Enjoyed reading your blog. You write so beautiful.

  • Nancy you are seriously so sweet, and have such a kind heart. I am very excited for your opportunity to open your own shop. I know what divorce can be like first hand, and also know the pain of being in a very controlling relationship. God has an amazing plan for you and I am excited to follow your journey!!

  • Thank you for sharing this. Balancing the many roles we play as women is not easy, especially when the business starts building momentum. You’re inspiring for not giving up on your dreams, and also for being able to prioritize your choices! No doubt at all that what you chose will impact your daughters in a huge way, and if the shop is still in your plan, you’ll have it again. Thanks for talking about this!

  • I just stumbled across your blog and wanted to tell you how brave I think it is to share such a personal and heart-felt post! You’ve been through so much, and there you are still smiling with your beautiful girls. Kudos to you mama! And congrats on your new beginning 🙂

  • Thank you for sharing your empowering story. It sounds like you are well on your way to healing and living your dream. Blessings to you and your girls.

  • I think that we do the best that we can with the life we have. No one has a crystal ball to know which decisions are worth it and which ones will knock you on your ass. If you feel something is/isn’t right (and you have been) you have to do what you feel is right. The right decisions have always been in my opinion, the hardest! I am so proud of you putting your heart out there and sharing. Someone is struggling just like you and this piece may help them make their own right decisions!

    • Thank you sweet girl! Yes, it was a very difficult decision at the time but looking back I know I did the right thing. There is so many great things ahead and God has a way to make it all wonderful! I hope someone out there is encouraged by my story. XO

  • You are the sweetest person and deserve the best, Nancy. You are talented and a wonderful mama and I am so happy that you saw when a big decision needed to be made and you made it! XOXO HUGS!

  • I’m sorry for your loss but truly believe that everything happens for a reason. My husband went through a divorce just as we met and it was transformative for all of the best reasons. He is a stronger person, he is a stronger Christian and moved forward in the best way. It will not be easy but you have the strength through Him to do all things. I wish you the best and can’t wait to see what’s next for you <3

    • Thank you Katherine! Yes, it has not been easy but I have pulled through with God’s strength. I am a much better person because of all the trials and challenges I have encountered. It’s all part of God’s plan for my life and I am doing the best I can moving forward. Blessings to you and your sweet family! XO

  • Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think many women who are business owners and moms can relate to this post. I know that personally because I often have “mom guilt” when I’m working on my days off from my full time job and my son plays by himself when I’m working on the blog or on a photo shoot. It’s so hard when you are passionate about something and have to balance that with family life. I do believe there is a time for everything, so everything will fall into place perfectly when the time is right. I applaud you for looking toward the future in a positive light and putting your girls first. And you know what … you can have it all! And in the future that maybe someone who loves you and supports your passion. You are a wonderful role model to your girls because you are showing them that it’s important to be happy and follow your dreams. Keep doing what you love!

    • Thank you for commenting Cristy! I am so thankful that many women can relate to the same struggles. I believe every woman should be allowed to live her passion and dreams. God gave us a gift and we should be free to share it with others. Nobody is entitled to keep that from us. I am in a much better place and looking forward to a better future! XOXO

  • Nancy, you are a smart, beautiful, loving woman, mother, and friend! You are so wise to follow your heart. It is in the hardest times that we truly discover who we are and what we’re meant to be in this life. I know amazing things are ahead of you! I admire your strength and courage and applaud you for being vulnerable and sharing your story! Love you, sweet friend!

  • Bless you Nancy!. You are so strong. Keep your head and your prayers up always. Can’t wait for the book!!!!

  • Nancy I just want to say God bless you. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I admire your courage and strength. only you know what is best for you and your girls. May God continue to bless you and strengthen you. xoxo

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